Look! Up ahead! Three aloof pedestrians stand around a smartphone in the middle of the sidewalk.
But why? Why did they choose to stand right there?
Don’t they know the space they selected for their powwow is typically used one-hundred percent of the time for walking? Even a fool knows not to do that. Right?
Read MoreHey! Nothing to see here. But I did want to post a link to my latest published article which can be found on Thought Catalog right now. What are you waiting for? Go read it! You're running out of time. Just CLICK ON THE TITLE!
I always thought there would be way more giant robots, you know? With laser beams shooting out of their giant robot eyes and destroying everything in their path with unrelenting precision and sheer brute force.
Then there would be the little green aliens controlling them—those little bastards—terrorizing us (emotionally) with weird noises and slimy goo. They would be not only unstoppable, but most definitely, and without any doubt, totally obsessed with annihilating us.
Read MoreDonald, it is us. Do not be alarmed. We are your friends.
And we want you to run for President of the United States of America.
Soon ... by following the advice of this humble waddle of penguins, you will be the supreme commander. All hail our wobbling gait and death to all leopard seals.
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