I wonder what the perfume sales are like this year, how are they trending? Are sales better than last year? In a slump?

Maybe this is the best year ever for perfume sales and nobody's talking about it. Who exactly is purchasing so much perfume to justify the high quantity of perfume commercials? I never ever even realized I had so many questions in the first place, regarding perfume.

I'd like to try purchasing strictly perfume gifts this year for everyone. One for Mom, another for the fiance, for co-workers, aunts, sisters, the mail lady, future mother-in-law, Yankee swap, secret Santa, everybody wins, totally normal nothing to see here kind of stuff, everyone smells great.

I want to carry an extra bottle or two with me to give away to strangers that I meet. I want you to have this; I will tell them. It will help.

What do you think the first perfume commercial ever filmed was like?

Were they as ridiculous as they are now? Does watching a sixty-second commercial of tall, rich, alien-like models who are almost too good looking to be real people, sailing or bungee jumping in high heels and pearls in some idyllic setting make us think, ya know, I want to feel like that, I want to smell like them. Probably. 

And then there are cologne commercials that highlight man scents and boldness.

The next time I see a guy with aviator glasses and three days worth of stubble (except for the neck area) get off a helicopter that just landed on the roof of a place that's on a tropical island and then meet up with a beautiful woman who seems only interested in sniffing him, I will remind myself to buy that product.

And I will be one step closer, to that? What if all this cologne and perfume is just really, really bad for us, like unhealthy. Maybe that's why all these beautiful models grow up to do pharmaceutical commercials.

Their lives are still clearly awesome, albeit a bit more financially prudent, less reckless with spending money on helicopters and beach resorts, but still awesome. They just have a few more problems, a few more years under their belt.

They still live in a high-def utopia where people dress really well, go on picnics, and spend time going on awesome adventures with their fellow retirees. Instead of sensual looks and fierce eye locking they prefer laughter and casual playfulness.

In the end, the message is clear. Perfume and cologne are more than just great smelling scents. They represent our inner desires, our possibilities, to be the best, the most beautiful, the most ridiculous. So I say this ... be ridiculous, but smell even more ridiculouser.

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